Monday, March 30, 2009

Roller Coaster!

So I'm taking a few minutes to vent. I'm so happy with the progress I've made today. I've now got a clean downstairs! Well, almost... And that's where the roller coaster feelings come in. I'm making such a big dent - but there's always MORE to do! Like decluttering the top of my fridge, wiping down the front of my cabinets, decorating things that have needed to be decorated since we moved in (WAY too long ago now to even be saying that!)...and the list goes on...and that doesn't even START to cover the upstairs! And, I KNOW, those things do NOT SOUND like a big deal, but I just start thinking about ALL that needs to be done, and I start feeling panicky and heavy in my chest. That probably sounds psycho, but oh well. My theory is that everybody's a little psycho - in their own way. =) "So why aren't you cleaning right now? Why are you blogging?", you may ask. Because I could feel this "paralyzing" feeling coming on, and I knew that if I did not take a small break that I might get all depressed like I do sometimes. And I would rather avoid that if possible! =) And then I thought maybe "journaling" about my feelings would help. So here I am.

I was reading in I Timothy this morning and came across this verse (1:12): "I give thanks to Him who has granted me [the needed] strength and made me able [for THIS], Christ Jesus our Lord, because He has judged and counted me faithful and trustworthy, appointing me to [this stewardship of] the ministry.

This verse makes me feel better! It inspires me and motivates me to do well in this life He's given me. I very much view my roles as a wife and mother as the ministry that He's given me (that He's CHOSEN me to be a steward of - that's humbling!). And I'm thankful that because I've given Him my life, it is not ME who is living this life, but Christ who LIVES IN ME (at least that's the goal - that I fall short of WAY too often!)...and THAT is how it's possible for him to find me faithful and trustworthy. Because apart from Him I truly am a royal wreck! =)

So now, I'll take some deep breaths, and trust that it's all going to be ok. =) And I'll do the next thing...clean my steps off (You know all the stuff that was downstairs that doesn't belong downstairs, so it got put on the steps, and now it all needs to go to its rightful places?). And I'll also pull up "Resolved2Worship's" blog, because I like to listen to the music she has on it while I clean. =) But first, I've got to go put a paci in a baby's mouth...Such is my life. =)


Mama Jeannie said...

Oh my sweet Sara girl. You're a keeper for sure. That's what I'm talkin' about... getting to see the fruit of my imperfect, yet hard work as a mommy coming to fruition as I see you mommy so well... even when it's exasperating you know who to run to. AWESOME!! I love you princess.

Amy said...

You stole my blog! See? You are not alone. That is exactly how I feel. Thanks for the reminder from scripture. Maybe I'll put it on my fridge. :)

Sara said...

Yeah, it's by my sink right now...I kinda spend a lot of time there. =) I'm sorry you're feeling that way!!! And thanks Mom! =)